Roll Call for Monday July 30th

On Monday, July 30th, Donald and an unidentified friend were the only members of the original 7 Fat Guys to show up. It appears that Greg may have hired someone to actually perform his workouts for him....

When Don was questioned about Greg's whereabouts, he insinuated that Greg is back in rehab with Lindsay Lohan.

Get better soon Greg!

Greg Resumes Bootcamp Workout Schedule

CNN and Fox News are reporting that Greg, the leader of the original 7 Fat Guys, has returned from injury and resumed workouts. Based on the picture, it appears that Greg may have been away at a FAT FARM melting pounds away, all the while pretending to be injured. Both news agencies attempted to contact Greg for an interview, but he declined.

In a related story, the early bootcamp group has put out an ALL POINTS BULLETIN begging for the return of Justin to lead their workouts. It appears that the group has been upset with the excercises that Hans and Brian have been teaching. It was reported that Hans has changed his hour of instruction to include only his greatest hits featuring such excercises as "The Wheel of Torture" and "Russian Leans". Shortly after Hans led this group, David Jones and Daniel Carter went AWOL.

Brian on the otherhand, has trouble with math as his 45 second timed exercises seem to go on for minutes at a time. The group has a suggestion for Brian, learn to count or end up like Alex (who went missing shortly after he implemented the never-ending bridge and roll exercise).

The last man standing is David.

It appears that the original 7 fat guys were nothing more than 7 Rosie O'Donnells. Today the last man standing (who was not one of the original 7) was David Armstrong.

I knew that you fat lazy asses would not last. You are probably home watching the View. David had his own personal trainer and by the end of the session looked like Lance Armstrong.

When I asked David where you all were he rattled off a list of ailments including back problems, rotator cuff problems and knee surgery just to mention a few.

My money says you fat asses will never be back.

For the rest of us...

Since "rotator cuff," "strained back," "short-staffed," and "got an iPhone" are all taken, we are going to have to get creative with any more excuses. Fortunately, we can go here and for $25 we can come up with a few more.

Jonesy

Good work, Jones. Glad to know that you are keeping the integrity of the Wednesday no-show award. We were all getting concerned, for a few days there, that you were actually going to be a regular.