Where was the TURTLE today?

Breaking News from the Advanced Workout Group Friday, April 26, 2013

It appears that John F., fondly known as Grape Ape, has finally found an exercise that he enjoys.

John spent several inconsistent years with the prestigious Advanced Workout Group (AWG) at Cherokee Country Club. John was a chronic complainer and always seemed to be in search of the ultimate exercise; one he described as 'I wish I could just stand around and lose weight'.

During John's combative and short-lived tenure with the AWG, he strayed several times...

John joined the ladies Koko Fit Club with a six-month trial membership and was asked to leave after three visits due to his uncontrollable flatulence.

John then joined the Outdoor Boot Camp Club for several weeks, but mysteriously injured his back while gawking at the other female participants.

Just as John was hitting rock-bottom in his search for the ultimate easy exercise, he stumbled across the Belly-Jiggling Weight Loss Machine in the basement of Cherokee Country Club while visiting his wine locker.

The AWG would like to wish John the best of luck in his new exercise endeavor!