AP Wire, Knoxville, TN
What began as a “sight-seeing” Safari tour in Africa turned deadly for over fifty innocent animals ranging from Giraffes to Zebras. It appears that once again, illegal steroid use was the cause of spontaneous violence.
According to witnesses, Dr. W. , a member of the Advanced Work-Out Group from Cherokee Country Club, Knoxville, TN, experienced involuntary rage while participating in an innocent wild-life sightseeing tour in Africa this past July. Allegedly Dr. W. had not worked out in several days and his pent up rage caused him to overtake the Safari guide and abscond with his high-powered rifle. When all the smoke cleared, over fifty wild animals (of which several were endangered) were dead.
When told of Dr. W's acts, fellow work-out companion, David J., had the following statement:
“I am not surprised that Dr. W experienced this bout of rage. On several occasions Dr. W. has threatened me as I was not able to perform the ‘full body length pull-ups’ to his satisfaction. I feared if he went more than two days without working-out to release his rage that someone, or something, was going to be in danger. It saddens me that several innocent animals were killed just because Dr. W. could not exercise his steroid induced demons under the guidance of B-Rod, his personal trainer. This explains why Dr. W has not been attending our work-out sessions the past few weeks.”
Local authorities were finally able to restrain Dr. W. after he pulled several back and chest muscles trying to lift his kill into the back of the sight-seeing all-terrain vehicle. Dr. W. is being held in Africa until his court date of August 15th.
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