Monday, September 7, 2009

It's Lonely at the Top






A very sad and unsettling truth---upward mobility does not always result in social acceptance---was reveled today when the Advanced Workout Group made a goodwill gesture and took their workout routine on the road to the new home of the “Special” Advanced Workout Group. Just as George and Weezie Jefferson had a hard time breaking in and being accepted by their new neighbors on the Upper West Side, it appears that the “Special” Advanced Work Out group may be having similar struggles. Readers of this blog might recall that several weeks ago, with great fanfare, Butch and Ken announced that the time had come to “take it to the next level, both physically and socially” which resulted in an upgrade and move to the refined air of Cherokee Country Club as a new home base. This announcement was accompanied by glowing reports from Ken and Butch about their new “Special” workout partners – “great guys, really funny, and just a lot of fun to be around” – as well as almost breathless descriptions about their new trainer – “super fit guy, looks like a Russian movie star”.

While always wanting the best for their former colleagues, members of the Advanced Workout Group were concerned about some initial reports of tensions with the old money established Cherokee members upon the arrival and establishment of the “Special” Advanced Workout Group. However, most members of the Advanced Workout Group were willing to dismiss these early reports of “mat fights” and potential fisticuffs as nothing more than unfounded rumors being circulated by disgruntled former 180 Fitness participants (re: Kill, Armstrong, et. al.) that have always tried to keep Ken and Butch down after they were instrumental in ensuring the demise and eventual disbanding of the late 7 Fat Guys Workout Group.

As a gesture of support to their former partners and after an invitation from their fitness leader Bryan, the Advanced Workout Group agreed to delay their normal Labor Day workout routine for an hour and a half and proceed to the confined and cramped spaces of Cherokee to see for themselves exactly how things were going with the “Special” Advanced Workout Group.

Needless to say, it was somewhat sad and very awkward to see the current state of affairs. After 30 minutes of delay, Ken and Butch strolled into Cherokee together and were immediately surprised and taken aback by the Advanced Workout Group in full workout mode. Noticeably absence with Ken and Butch were any of the “great guys” that were supposed be part of this new group. When asked about the rest of the team, Ken and Butch mumbled something about others being “tired” or “out of town”, then quickly slipped off to the stretching room. Even more awkward was the lack of any trainer to assist Ken and Butch. After several frantic phone calls (in violation of the Cherokee workout room policy), Ken was able to get a “trainer” to show up to help keep up the façade. Probably one of the most disheartening events the Advanced Workout Group observed was the reaction of the fellow Cherokee members upon Ken and Butch’s arrival. Perhaps sensing trouble, the other members, most notably Judge Smails and Dr. Beeper, immediately alerted Junebug to their presence and he arrived on the scene and took an assessment of the situation to ensure that tensions remained low and Butch and Ken kept to themselves in the stretching area and did not interact with the other members.

Always gracious, members of the Advanced Workout Group, congratulated Ken and Butch on their new situation, gave them encouragement to stick it out, and expressed hope that eventually they would be allowed to venture over to the treadmill area of the workout room with the other Cherokee members. Plans for future goodwill visits were quickly scuttled after Ken and Butch indicated that they were probably going to be really “busy” over the next few months and probably would not be able to make it happen.

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